It’s Hell to be Old

OLD people have problems that you haven’t even  considered yet!

An  85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part  of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and  said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.’

The next day the 85-year-old man  reappeared at the doctor’s office
and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained,
‘Well, doc, it’s like this — first I  tried with my right hand, but
nothing. Then I tried with my  left hand, but still nothing.
‘Then I asked my wife for help. She  tried with her right hand, then
with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then  with her
teeth out, still nothing.
‘We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first
with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing..’

The doctor was  shocked!
‘You asked  your neighbour?’

The old  man replied, ‘Yep, none of us could get the jar open.”


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