Married But Not Dead™

An old married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said:

To Be KIND is MORE important than to be right.  Many times, what people need is NOT a brilliant mind that speaks but a SPECIAL HEART that LISTENS.

FindNewPassion.com – Married Dating with social Sophistication

The German language we do not know… so if you’re able to translate, and some not so nice words are revealed…. we apologize! We did have a big laugh!  : )

A water Bed in a German furniture store.  The sign says NOT to get on the bed, but oh well..  the best way to motivate people to do something is to put up a sign saying ”Don’t……..!”

Turn on speakers and watch people trying out the water bed.  It’s in German, but that only makes it funnier.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/9wm-Ge8LL7o?rel=0

The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.  One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.  Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.  The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.  He put on his shoes and drove home.

‘Where have you been?’ his wife demanded.  ‘I can’t lie to you,’ he replied, ‘I’m having an affair with my secretary.  We had sex all afternoon.’  She looked down at his shoes and said: ‘You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!’

The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.  They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.  The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.  The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.  He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.  He told his wife: ‘There’s no way I can be the father of this baby.  Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?’  The wife smiled sweetly and replied: ‘No, not this time!’

The3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night.  He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.  Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!  ‘I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,’ the mortician commented, ‘I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part.  It must be saved for posterity.’  So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

‘I have something to show you won’t believe,’ he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.  ‘My God!’ the wife exclaimed, ‘Schwartz is dead!’

The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.  ‘Hurry,’ she said, ‘stand in the corner.’  She rubbed baby oil all over him, and then dusted him with talcum powder.

‘Don’t move until I tell you,’ she said. ‘Pretend you’re a statue.’  ‘What’s this?’ the husband inquired as he entered the room. ‘Oh it’s a statue,’ she replied.  ‘The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.’  No more was said, not even when they went to bed.  Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.  ‘Here,’ he said to the statue, ‘have this.

I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.’

The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.  ‘Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.’ ’One Cent?’ the man exclaimed.  He glanced at the menu and asked: ‘How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?’  ‘A nickel,’ the barman replied.  ‘A nickel?’ exclaimed the man.  ‘Where’s the guy who owns this place?’  The bartender replied: ‘Upstairs, with my wife.’  The man asked: ‘What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?’  The bartender replied: ‘The same thing I’m doing to his business down here.’

The 6th & Best Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.  He looked up and said weakly: ‘I have something I must confess.’ ‘There’s no need to, ‘his wife replied. ‘No,’ he insisted, ‘I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!’  ‘I know,’ she replied… ‘Now just rest and let the poison work!

“To err is human.”

Everyone in this world is prone to making mistakes in every sphere of life. No one is mistake-proof.  No matter how much you try to be perfect you will end making a mistake or two every now and again. When it comes to dating it is no different.

In this blog post we will discuss five things that women do wrongly while dating –

Profile Picture – One of the basic things is the profile picture. Men are visual creatures who are stimulated by visually pleasing things. Thus, a great profile photo is a must in online dating. With thousands of women on online dating sites, you have to make sure that yours stands out with your great profile picture. Don’t post a picture of yourself from three years or longer. Do not post any picture in which you are standing far away or there is someone or something else in it which diverts the attention.

Sharing Too Much Information Too Soon – When you are dating try to be sensible. Men scare easily and talking too much and will usually work against you rather than for you. Talk normally and listen to what your date says.  Don’t be afraid to speak your opinions but don’t conclude that you must speak every thought that comes into your head.  Beware! Don’t share private information about your past, about strange thoughts you may have, and about any controversial subject matter. See what you are talking about.

Possessiveness - One thing that men generally don’t like is possessiveness in a relationship. In fact, married men do not like to be feel possessed. Sure, they are in a relationship with you because they enjoy it. But they want their own space. So be careful about over-contacting him, overdoing public displays of affection and “popping in” unannounced.

Commitment Talk - Men don’t prefer to feel forced when they are in the process of getting to know someone. They don’t want to have to reveal what their future plans are. They also don’t want to know any of this information about you too soon in the dating process. Keep things light and carefree when you’re first getting to know a man like you did in your early dating days. There’s plenty of time to talk about serious commitments.

In the next post we will talk about dating mistakes that men make. Till then, Happy Dating

In the previous blog post we discussed about the mess ups that women generally make while dating. In this post we will discuss dating mistakes that men.

It is considered that when it comes to dating men are more prone to making mistakes. The reasons why they make these errors are varied and different from women’s. Hence, advice that men should consider is very different than advice for women. Without further ado we list the 4 common dating mistakes that men make and ways to avoid them –

Authenticity & Accuracy – Sure, you want to portray yourself as the best possible candidate. But in doing so do not fake anything. Men generally feel that they would get away with a little bit of falseness. The truth is somewhere down the line you will definitely get caught. And that is worse, isn’t it? So be authentic. Fill your profile accurately and behave genuinely at dates.

Impatience – Men tend to be desperate right from the word ‘go’. They try to move things along too quickly. Being adults it is very important for men to show some dignity by not being too eager. You want fun. She wants fun too. But there is no way to force the issue. Do realize that you cannot ever control anyone else’s actions or behaviour. Be patient and put your best foot forward.

Physical Contact – The days of your young, new dating life are well and truly over. You are an adult now. The standards and limits of physical contact are different from what they were in your early adulthood. On top of that you are dating a married woman. Considering all these things it is advised to exercise caution. Don’t be eager to go in for a kiss at the end when the woman just isn’t ready. See if she is getting intimate. Take cues from her body language.

Rudeness & Ego – It is quite baffling to see so many men showing off their arrogance. They think that makes them look ‘macho’, ‘manly’, ‘strong’, etc. However, more often than not, women take that as a sign of rudeness and lack of dignity. Also, having an ego is a big turn-off. No one likes to be with someone with an inflated sense of self. So don’t portray yourself as haughty. If you not then you should definitely not do it. Be natural.

We hope you do not commit these mistakes. Good Luck.

What attracts women?

Men have asked themselves this question innumerable time at some point in their lives – as young adults or now when they are still looking to date after their marriage. It is something that has bothered the male community since time immemorial. But some lucky few don’t ask themselves this as they seem to have a natural attraction. So what do they do that others do not? Is there a formula for success in charming women?

Well, though there is no secret formula of attraction there are some ways that will definitely help you in achieving your objective. We present to you the 5 ways to charm women –

Self-Confidence – There is nothing more important and an effective tool than self-confidence. Being confident means that you will approach women more easily and women of course like being approached. Then at the same time though being confident suggests that there is a good reason for your being that way and it suggests that you’re a catch. At the same time confidence suggests experience and women like to think that a man knows what he’s doing.

Dressing – Dressing the same as the average male will not give you a psychological advantage when it comes to being in contact with women. Be a gentleman and dress like one. It doesn’t mean that you should wear a suit or any other formals. Even if it is casuals wear a decent looking combination. Also, wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident as that will get you attention.

Intelligence – You need to maintain sophistication together with class. Like you other adult women are usually knowledgeable when it comes to the art of dating and it’s also necessary to arrange all your charms you have to seduce them. Women at this age are more into gentleman types. The more sophisticated and intelligent you appear, better your chances to seduce.

Certainty – Women at this point in their life would rather prefer certainty over adventure when it comes to the future. If you can provide it and communicate it, you’ll be more attractive. Learn to communicate certainty in everything you do and you will definitely succeed. A sense of certainty is what women look for in men.

Manhood – Last but not the least, a significant trait that influences women is masculinity. Women do not want to be in a relationship with someone who is of their age but lacks maturity. So be and act like a real and independent man. Do not fake it. It would be useless as women can spot it easily. Work on yourself until you know you have become a real man. When you do, you’ll attract women naturally.

Good luck!

FindNewPassion.com – Married Dating with Social Sophistication